STFU Problem Solving

You are an idiot...

STFU Problem Solving (otherwise known as "Shut the !@#$ Up Problem Solving" is a technique that lazy no-good completely inept barely-technical wannabe-good-programmer manager types employ to screw their team members over in order to get executives off their back so they can keep on doing nothing useful and making money while doing it. It usually comes with a lot of buzz-words, worthless analysis, copy-and-paste descriptions from the websites of open-source technologies barely worth their weight in crap, and a lot of sunshine-up-your-@$$ bull**** about how it'll solve every problem under the sun, without any thought as to how it solves any problems whatsoever, let alone the one that actually needs solving. It's almost always synonymous with under or over-architecting through in-place hackery and bastardizing of existing code to the point where it is barely recognizable, not that it ever was in the first place because your code sucks and you're an idiot to boot.

As an example, can someone PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE enlighten me as to how the technology that Google uses to index search results in html pages can be of ANY use for inline processing or distributed caching. If you can split up backend batch processing of large vats of data (such as 4 PB of html pages), such a technology might be of considerable use. The distributed nature of such a technology is useful for splitting up those vats of data into smaller vats. But processing data inline, using such a distributed file-system to organize totally independent processing engines, and using the distributed nature of said file-system to maintain the option to somehow consider those data-sets "contiguous" is completely asinine and serves no purpose whatsoever.

And the best part about such ideas is the no-talent waste-of-space worthless two-face lying no-good sack of crap that they came from. A manager type leader who can't help but lie through their teeth every chance they get. For instance, acting as though an open dialogue about the inherent flaws of most half-@$$ed open-source technologies is completely appropriate until the day you are overheard by someone important in the company, and it turns out you should've shut the crap up a long time ago. This type of two-faced act demonstrates with great transparency the true nature of such an individual and the fact that most of the promises made by them were empty and the statements made by them were complete hokum. It really puts in perspective just how stupid successful people can become, especially when their sole concern becomes rising in the ranks at the expense of everything meaningful, whilst telling lies and destroying hope at every turn.

You. Are. An. Idiot.